Years ago I would put plastic sheets on the bed, pour warm oil on my girl and enjoy the slipping, sliding and massaging that followed. I would like to introduce this to my new girlfriend, but I have concerns. First, I remember my ex-girlfriend not liking baby oil in her hair. Second, I’m not sure oil is safe if it is carried into the vagina. Lubricating gel is safe, but it dries quickly and costs more. I’ve considered having a spray bottle of warm water nearby to reactivate the gel. Do you have any recommendations on what type of product to use? – CE, Johannesburg.
Have you considered natural oils? Many people use coconut oil, sold at most supermarkets, or unscented sweet almond and grape seed oils. You’ll need to use a water-based lubricant if you are relying on latex condoms, because oils will damage them. The vagina can handle a small amount of oil, but be cautious as it can upset the pH balance and lead to infections. If you’re a smart man, slip-sliding play begins with a full- body massage – for her.

Is there a tactful way to ask a girl if she’s on the pill, particularly right before you get busy? Is there a way to find out before you’re in her room at 3:00 am with the lights low? More to the point, how can you know she is actually on the pill and not just saying she is? – KF, Cape Town.
We can imagine a few situations in which a woman would lie about being on the pill or risk unprotected sex if she weren’t. Regardless, you should be wearing a condom rather than trusting the judgment, habits and sexual health of someone you don’t know well. Plus, a woman can get pregnant even if she’s on the pill, especially if she’s not conscientious about taking it.

What is the correct procedure for asking for a happy ending?
– JG, Port Elizabeth.
Never ever, ever ask. If a happy ending is available, it will be offered – and usually sooner than later, because for a masseuse it means the massage is over, no matter how much time you booked. If you ask and it’s not on the menu, which is almost always the case, you will look like a creep, you will embarrass a professional who doesn’t deserve it, and the session will end abruptly. It’s best to keep your mouth shut and avoid unhappy endings.

I am not sure what to do in this situation so thought I would ask the Rabbit man. I am a guy who has a childhood friend who married another of our childhood friends. I do a lot with her (running, talking on the phone), as well as him. But I have developed a strong sexual desire for her and suspect she would not turn me away. How do I tell her about this without jeopardizing my lifelong relationships with both of them? I know she loves her husband, but she has made comments about his lack of size and quality in the bedroom. What should I do? – DB, Pretoria.
Masturbate. It will make less of a mess. Every fantasy need not become reality.

Does a woman who has never had an orgasm during intercourse enjoy sex as much as the one who does reach climax? – SM, Nelspruit.
Of course she does – assuming her partner knows that many women don’t come consistently, if ever, during intercourse because a thrusting erection does not provide direct stimulation of the clitoris. That’s why a conscientious lover makes sure his partner comes first, whether by tongue, vibrator or finger. If the stars align and she comes again during intercourse, that’s great. If you climax first, make sure she comes after you.

Send your questions to We’ll get the best in the field to give you some great advice…