“Put Your Hands On Me, You Damn Dirty Ape!”: Remembering Our 2001 Fashion Pictorial
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This pictorial originally appeared in the September 2001 issue Playboy magazine.
Darwinism ignores one developmental reality: True evolution starts and ends at the mall. On the planet of fashionable apes, fall is the time to break out the big guns—and a little martial flair. In fashion circles, the buzzword is military. That doesn’t necessarily mean everything has epaulets and brass. Instead, it reflects a rugged, functional quality—even when it comes to suits. Thick corduroys, heavy velvets, tactical watches, chunky jewelry—there’s nothing wimpy about this stuff. You can be hard on these clothes and they’ll hold up. Cargo pants were just the tip of the iceberg. Things have evolved—and devolved—in an appropriately masculine way. We may even decide to threw away our razors.
Fashion Styling by Joseph De Acetis
Produced by Joe Dolce
Photography by Antonie Verglas
The human is in a Joseph Abboud outfit and Zodiac watch. His captors are wearing Diesel sweaters, Beretta pants and DKNY coats.
The net chimp’s pants, jacket and boots are by Sean John, turtleneck from Chaps by Ralph Lauren and gloves by Olympia. His pal is in Sean John jeans and sweater, Beretta vest and Gravis boots. Our man’s pants are by Avirex, shoes by Gravis and two jackets by Chaps by Ralph Lauren.
On the left, Commander Kong tries to open a bottle of Jack Black moisturizer in an outfit by Beretta, shoes by Kenneth Cole Reaction and watch from Spoon by Seiko. On the right, toying with a bottle Aramis cologne, is an ape in coat and pants by BCBG, sweater by Samsonite, shirt by Chaps by Ralph Lauren and shoes by Cole Haan (jewelry by Chrome Hearts.) The guard is wearing a corduroy suit by Ron Chereskin and shirt and tie by DKNY. The caged hairless monkey in the middle wears pants, sweater and jacket by Beretta.
Gorilla Warefare: The marauders wear leather jackets by Francis Hendy, leather pants by Samsonite, belts by Diesel and boots by Sketchers (vintage chapeau by Kaiser Wilhelm). Pulling off the uniquely human pose of insouciance demands a pair of pants, T-shirt, belt, boots and coats, all by Diesel.
Hey, hey, we’re the monkeys. From left: three-button suit, shirt and tie by Calvin Klein. Two-button velvet suit and leather shirt by Richard Edwards; gloves by Totes. Four-button, four-pocket jacket, turtleneck and pants by Hugo Boss. The single-button suit and V-neck shirt are by Dolce and Gabbana.
The running man is in shirt, cargo pants and anorak by Victorinox Swiss Army and boots by Hugo Boss. You can’t get more military than Swiss Army. But the appeal of military-influenced gear is utilitarianism—extra pockets stow items for an escape run.
It’s bedtime for Bonzo, but he ain’t sleeping. He’s about to climb out of a two-button satin suit and satin shirt by BCBG/Max Azria (shoes by Sean John.) When it comes to impressing girls, the missing link is a sharp suit—and a cohesive look, with intoxicating autumn colors that designers call wine and cognac but look like maroon and gold to us Neanderthals
